A mystery exists in the bonds of marriage when two people become one and yet remain distinctly themselves. God works this transformation out through the relationship as each spouse grows toward Him.
A couple’s differences and individuality can be anything from their flawed, sinful nature to a different outlook on life. One spouse might freak out over the bills while the other spends too much time at work. One fails the other, and both brush against each other with different experiences and expectations. This friction of life shouldn’t be feared. God uses it to grow both people closer to him and closer to one another.
Genesis 2:23-24 talks about how a husband and wife should leave their families of origin and be united, becoming one flesh. It’s God’s design to blend two separate lives into one new one, but not to erase anyone’s identity. Instead, He helps each discover who He’s created them to be and who they can become when loved thoroughly.
It is in the beautiful confines of a committed marriage that rough edges are softened, and past hurts are healed. To transform hearts, though, God requires honesty, which sometimes doesn’t feel great. Speaking the truth and hearing the truth can hurt. And affording your spouse the space to be real when they’re not being their best can be uncomfortable.
The covenant of marriage provides the foundation of commitment and love needed to confront personal flaws and weaknesses. An argument brings to light a past struggle, and an unmet expectation amplifies the state of a heart. As these things become apparent, each person gets the opportunity to see their own gifts and flaws and bring those things to God. Being loved thoroughly by another human being, who sees you exactly like you are, provides a deeper avenue for understanding the depths of God’s love and discovering what a relationship with him looks like.
God sees us and remains faithful. Even while we were still steeped in sin, he died for us. He knows our failures and flaws. He knows it all and loves us still. Being loved like this takes time. It is a process enriched by our continuing to seek God and by experiencing the committed love of one other person. In the framework of God’s love and our marriage, we discover the mystery of how two different people can become more of who they are while they grow together to love and honor God.
Father God, thank you for the blessing of marriage. You’ve made us each different, and we lay those differences before you. Please show us how to unite our hearts to serve you completely. Teach us how to be kind, patient, giving, and humble. Help us navigate our disagreements to a place of understanding and celebrate our individuality in a way that helps us become more of who you’ve created us to be.
In all these things, Father, help us seek you first and love like you love us. Help us support one another as you blend our paths together to create something new in each of us. And help us be more effective for you together than we could ever be apart. For your glory, through Jesus our savior, we pray.